Smells.

So India smells.

Seriously though, not all the smells are bad. But all the smells are very very potent. There are no hints of vanilla or potpourri, this is real third world scents. Bath and Body will most likely not be putting any of these scents out for Christmas.

Sunsets and summer rubbish - This is the wonderful scent your nostrils are engulfed with as you walk through the town past the mounds of garbage, some smoldering, some just rotting. If you are lucky you can catch an occasional truck shoveling this pile of smell into a truck, watch out, they often over throw the truck landing on poor passerbyers. If you are less lucky, you can catch cows, pigs, goats and dogs eating and laying in the same pile. If you are less lucky still you can catch a grown man urinating into said pile, standing in the middle of the sidewalk. The sun bakes this heap rotten eggs and the rain resaturates the rotting carcasses of chicken and vegetables. Get it now or later, supplies seem to be lasting…

Morning dew and trash from the night before – mmmmhhhh nostrils wide for your morning trip to the bank, the earth is wet with due and the nights rain. The sun is rising quickly and the temperatures are quickly approaching 35C (95F). That trash from the night before has cooled, soaked and is reheating! Cant u see the steam and smell the fragrance… Mhhmmm watch out for rats! They are the size of cats!

Public bathroom, no not the street, the tiny room – As you wait to go to the lou, while most people don’t wait they just go on the side of the… well anything. You can smell enjoyable perfume of urine. As you walk into the jon, the smell over takes you, causing you barely able to stand. You try to breathe only through your mouth, but its too late, you start coughing, weezing…. Holdyourbreath, donttouchanything, openthedoor(alwayswashafter) exhaleeeeeeee. Phew. That was close. Next time. Just hold it, or don’t drink as much water, or chai

So great, you can taste it- a personal favorite. I remember this one, like it was yesterday. Partially because it was yesterday. It was approximately 10:47am, a time at which one would assume most people have washed and deoterized. false logic. [[story time. So we are in the 3 wheel auto, you the type, and were going and its actually quite nice out. Sun just heating up to 100F rain finally stopped, morning chai in our bellies, when all of a sudden…we stop… pick up SM ( smelly man ). I musta done somethingg wrong earlier in the day. This was BAD BAD karma. Im now in the middle seat. Squashed mind you. And SM is on my left. He lifts his right arm, the one closest to me and holds onto the ceiling of the vehicle. This puts my face, inches from his armpit. This guy didn’t get the memo about soap or deoterant. My eyes started watering. I was hoping he would become self conscious and put the arm down but noooo. We kept hitting bumps, shoving his body aka armpit, into my body, aka face. No joke I was ready to cry but only started laughing. When karma decided this wasn’t a funny matter; so mother Karma turned up the volume. I no longer smelt this guy, I tasted it. It was palpable. The smell was so strong, I was eating it. I had to check my teeth for armpit hairs because I seriously thought I was licking this guys rancid armpit region. I tried to breathe only through my mouth and just gagged.]] this scent is in stores everywhere. It is also in vehicles, lines for food, and many other locations near me!

Earth wind and earth. Actually a pleasant smell of rice paddy and dirt. There is a strong sense of cow manure but it adds to the earthyness. You can almost taste the crops and the worms. This is the closest you can get to smelling like the dirt without actually rubbing dirt on you. This certainly is an improvement from trash. Dirt rocks!

Kitchen kooking- such a wonderful fragrance. You can smell the garlic and onions and turmeric mixing with salt and chilis. The smell is almost intoxicating. The only natural response is to salivate. Use this smell only of you want someone to eat your arm or wherever you apply it. CAUTION; if you break this vile on floor, people will try to eat the floor, its that good.

Eat your hearts out Bath and Body. I'm ready to sell!