So ok we're in a traffic jam. Really bad one. So were driving on the right side of the road now, which in India, is the wrong side. And were not only on the wrong side. Were on the dirt shoulder weaving in and out of people’s front yards. sorry. Then were go further this is taking forever. And finally a little stretch of wrong side road, and oh no, coppers! There’s a guy in the street with a bull horn and bull whip… we said, In Hindi, well the driver said, not all of us in unison, that woulda been wayyy to rehearsed, but humorous I admit, yah sorry officer this car cut us off, we had to swerve, won’t happen again. Some things are the same, no matter where you go. Always tell the truth to get out of a citation... right, so we said screw this road let go through a town where it gos, we dont know, maybe home?! so we go through a town that had no power lines and road that were made of brick coble stone, but every other stone was removed. So it was a little bumpy. If their intention was to prevent speeding the score would be town 1, us 0. So we get though the town and come to a bridge. If you've seen Indiana Jones and the lost covenant, know that rope bridge. Try going over something like that in a car with 5 people and a donkey cart in front of you. I was trying to figure out when the bridge broke where in the murky bubbling green water I was going to jump into and perish to the Indian version of Davy Jones locker.
We made it. Our driver rocks. So we get through this town and see the traffic jam. Ha-ha we're winning. We cross the road and decide to continue traversing. The town had never seen a vehicle this size. Or white people. There were as many stares at the size of the car as there were at the 3 whites in the back. One from Scotland descent, one of Korean descent and me, handsome charming young lad with an immaculate beard. I smiled and waved. Some waved back. #winning so we're driving/ following cows, they don’t know the rules of the road, when our driver honks, you move. No dice. They weren’t moving faster than cow speed, slow, but they were sure to leave us to lots of cow pies. Mmmhmmmm delish.
I’d like to foreshadow, that Mary Ellen gets motion sickness in cars that aren’t riding smoothly. Poor companion was told ‘yah this will be a short trip and hour or two, the roads are pretty good, you should be ok.’ we are on hour 3. the cows move. We ask a stranger with no shirt and about 3 teeth, does this lead to the main road?' Yes keep moving.' Wow. Mister you’re not very nice. Same response down the road. I felt like we were on the road in Rat Race where they think it’s a short cut and they drive off a cliff. Our luck was slightly better. There was road. Narrower than one lane. It might have fit two people walking side by side. Tops. Oh and I think it’s where they practice shooting mortars and throwing grenades. The road was dirt, with CRATERS missing. Where is my JEEEP! We went from one side to the other and back. Mary Ellen is turning green. I’m loving it, the off roading, not, her discomfort, just praying my door stays locked. Mary Ellen is now green and I’m getting ready to unlock my door and finally the road ends. And turns into normally a very bad gravel road. It felt like we were ‘riding on rails’ smooth as could be. We bypassed the traffic jam; saw some great things and only half an hour from home. Sigh. Good day.
Another jam? Screw it lets go through old Patna. Bad driver, bad. Took another hour and a half. Ive been in parades that move faster. Seriously, cows move faster and they move super slowly. My legs were now numb. Cramping. My arms were tired of waving. It felt like the snickers commercial. I totally could have used a snickers. That sounds delicious right now too.
Enough said we made it though the jam, got home got cleaned up DEVoured dinner, which was curry with hardboiled eggs and chicken, chipatae, okra or lady fingers, potatoes and onion tomatoe something or other. We went our separate ways and I passed out at 926, I think I was asleep before my head hit my pillow.
Day 14 finally, finally complete.
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